I have a hard time dealing with authority. Bosses, cops, IRS, God, girlfriends... etc. No good. So maybe I need step up in the ranks a little. I think King would be about right for me. You get to make up your own laws. The first of which would be "I rule!" Then you get your own castle. I could live in a castle though in the movies they always seem so drab. No problem. I'm sure the Royal Interior Designer would have the place FABULOUS in no time.
I would be a good king too. Nothing like our King George the Dumbass. I won't go about picking on little countries and little people and embarrassing his subjects by saying moronic shit all the time. My policy would be stay out of my business and I'll stay out of yours. What happens in the castle, stays in the castle. That's why I have a moat full of crocodiles. Fucking paparazzi.
As far as Kingdoms go, I wouldn't want anything like the US. Leave that to Obama. Besides, I think you have to be elected or something here. Not good. I don't have much of a wardrobe but I do have a walk in skeleton closet.
I think Siam would do nicely. Tropical and lush. Plenty of wonderful concubines. You've heard all those stories about Bangkok girls. The bananas, ping pong balls, and old school Coca-Cola bottles (...I'm a bit frightened by the last one). Amazing.
I believe I qualify for the job too. I am every bit as bald and Siamese as Yul Brynner. I'll even sing and dance with that stuck up English bitch. Whatever. I know she only objects to me whipping my slaves because she is secretly jealous. We all know how kinky those uptight English women are.
I will take care of you, Anna. Special care.
"Getting to know you..... Getting to know all about you....."
lalalalala
"I'm the King, BITCH!"
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
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